英検準1級 二次試験 四コマ漫画のナレーション 添削またはアドバイスをお願いします。 OneR…

英検準1級 二次試験 四コマ漫画のナレーション

添削またはアドバイスをお願いします。
One day, a man and his wife were at a property that they owned.
The man was cutting weed, and his wife was picking up trash.
That is to say it was a wasted land, so they thought that “we should find a better way to use this land.”
The next day some children were playing soccer on the road.
Then, a car passed by and a woman in the car warned them not to play soccer on the road.
The man who stood by and watched this came up with a good idea.
The next week they transformed the wasted land into as Play Space.
In other words, they made a park for children.
They hoped that many children would play here.
The following month children who played baseball there were scold by a neighbor.
The man asked her why she scold the children.
She said to him “A ball which the children hit broke a window in her house.”h.
That is to say it was a wasted land, so they thought that “we should find a better way to use this land.”
The next day some children were playing soccer on the road.
Then, a car passed by and a woman in the car warned them not to play soccer on the road.
The man who stood by and watched this came up with a good idea.
The next week they transformed the wasted land into as Play Space.
In other words, they made a park for children.
They hoped that many children would play here.
The following month children who played baseball there were scold by a neighbor.
The man asked her why she scold the children.
She said to him “A ball which the children hit broke a window in her house.”